I do not know my time for sure, none of us do. All I can do is follow a vision deep inside me
but, I will never know for sure until it is time. So to all who have loved me I would like to explain myself.
For the most part, no one really know me or what goes on in my mind. My oast has petrified my
heart. I feel no pain and only brotherly love. I would like to think I live one of the most misunderstood and controversial
life. The only thing I know for sure is no matter anything or anyone who has left me sitting here stuggling, I have suvived.
That has been what kept stating through any hardships I have encountered. I have seen many things through my life my life.
Some of which I could barely handle but, I still survived.
All I have ever wanted to do in this life of mine is to make a change but, no one ever listens
to a teeager. through the days I have grown and accelled though this world from a boy to a man faster than anyone I have studied
but, there is always something that will never change the majority of humanities stupididty.
Maybe there never will be a better day but, I can never give up as long as I live, if not longer.
Maybe I should have tried for something less impossible but, there was nothing else that we needed so desperatly.
Everyday it haunts me, nothing in this world has ever been loyal to me. I have been backstabbed
by everyone and everything that I have ever known besides my mother. My trust has been shattered and for that I have learned
to run solo. Maybe it has bettered me, maybe it has not, either way I doubt I will ever trust anyone again. All it is, is
a curse.
We need a way to live in harmony. I am not going to say I am perfect because I am not. I have
made many mistakes and everyday they haunt me like a guilty conscience of a murderer. All I can do is clence my eyelids shut
and hope for them to disappear. (even though they do not)
The only way I can get through it is learning from my mistakes, grwoing from weaknessess. Everything
I have accomplished in this world has come from within but, I could not have done it withought the influences that surround
me daily.
I have learned to take talmost nothing for granted. Every blessing and every curse I recieve,
I appriciate it and make sure it doe not slide through.
Everything is mental. I guess that is the trick to life, nothing exists unless you let it exist
within you. Perhaps by the time I have lost my life I acheieved internal peace because at the moment, I still have a while
to go. Maybe I have passed my test and my life was taken. (I know many of yall do not beleive it is going to happen but, if
you have seen all of the evidance I have seen, you will believe it.) If not then perhanps I will recieve another chance through
another mind. If the peace has spread to others then my mind will sleep easy.
Just remember one thing -- Notheing ever that came easy and if it did then it was not pure,
it was not real. It is either a lie to others or a lie to your own mind. My mind has lied to me so many times. Sometimes because
I could not cope with the truth from a lie and that is through internal peace and purity which takes years upon years to accomplish.
Some try their whole lifetime trying to achieve this peace, only to fail. Hopefully, I did not share that same case.
